2020年十大笑話

 

2020年是新冠肺炎肆虐的一年，網上收到 Christine Samson 傳上的2020年十大笑話，皆是環繞這瘟疫而作，值得一笑：

 

 

1.   The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner。2020年的疫情反覆，一波未平，一波又起，所有計劃多被取消而不能落實，預先的安排也多是白廢。 2020年實無需預先計劃，只能見步行步。

 

 

2.   2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people. 疫症檢測是[正]的人便是患了新冠肺炎，要被隔離治療。

 

 

3.   The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors! 禁足令使所有人要被困家中，不得外出。

 

 

4.   This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came to my house & told my dog.... We had a good laugh. 被隔離的獨居者只有和家中的寵物對話，以解被獨困之苦悶。

 

 

5.   Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom. 家居令使人食量大增，體重上升，腰圍加大，褲子不能再穿上。 這現象是反映了社會的安定繁榮，人民豐衣足食的景況。

 

 

6.   Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?  政府指令是勤洗手，但沒有提及洗身。

 

7.   I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are! 社交距離是全球抗疫的法門。

 

 

8.   I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator. 被困家中，要抗拒食物的誘惑，還要保持運動，增強抵抗力。

 

 

9.   I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard. I’m getting tired of the Living Room. 在香港的斗室環境，久被困家另人沮喪及憂鬱，故定要偶往街上散心及呼氣。

 

  10.Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller

     with a mask on and ask for money. 但你也要除下口罩片刻讓銀行職員確認你的身分。

 

 

謹此，祝 Christine Samson 開心快樂，青春永駐。